You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours

Zvonko Davidovic
Attorney at law

A renowned professor was sitting in a tavern with his friends, and while they were talking, a young man came to their table and addressed the professor with great respect, asking the professor and his company to pay their check because the books written by the professor helped the young man a lot, so he wanted to pay him back this way. The professor politely refused his offer, by saying the follosing words: “You say that with my books I have done something good for you, so now you want to pay me back by doing something nice for me. In a sentence, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. That kind of thinking is exactly the source of corruption. If I have done something good for you, instead of paying me back, you should go and do something good for someone else, who will then do something good for someone else, and that is how you create a circle of kindness. That – You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours – is a feature of tribal communities that are characteristic to the entire Balkans. That’s why corruption is so present in this region, and we as modern people are called to rise above that.”

I read this anecdote and thought about the professor’s words, wondering how much we really managed to rise above and make progress by comparing ourselves to our ancestors. If we ignore the technological progress and the scientific achievements that have made it easier for us, but at the same time complicated life, in a moral and intellectual sense, I think we were only going backwards.

Not so long ago, in the recent past, knowledge, education and culture were valued and respected. Domestic education was respected and people devoted a lot of time on it, people were careful about their behavior everywhere they went. Young people respected the elderly, the students respected their professors, and we all respected the hardworking and intelligent people. Honesty and sincerity were a virtue, we strived as an ideal towards temperance and good behavior, and we admired the mind and knowledge of people. The evening news started with the smile of the anchorman or anchorwoman, who announced a guest who had something to say, and who was recognized and well-known in his line of work. Parents were proud of their children and spent time with them, teaching them and educating them to be honest and diligent citizens. Children played in the lawns and in the shades of countless trees. Hospitals looked like hospitals, and healthcare services were equally accessible to everyone. Criminals were sent to prison, and only those who were not caught went unpunished. We traveled freely and without fear that someone would abduct someone else, or that someone would go missing. Religious and national affiliation was not important and we often did not know who belonged to which nationality or religion, the only thing that mattered was whether you were a good person. Relatives knew each other and visited each other, and people were friendly to each other without knowing the other person’s property or party affiliation. There were a lot of thing missing, but it wasn’t a legitimate reason for us to be unhappy. No one was driving Jeeps or Mercedes cars, everyone was driving Fico and Zastava 101, and it was a really great experience to travel loaded to the roof with four people inside and with no air-conditioning. And we were happy and cheerful, and nothing of it bothered us.
Today, in a jeep that has a bigger trunk than an entire Fico car, we are not able to pack ourselves, the air-conditioning irritates us, and going on a road trip is a real Golgotha. Despite the music that plays by its own choice in the car with tinted windows, everyone is frowning as if they are going to be tortured. Knowledge is no longer valued, but the cash you have on you, or in your bank account, and it does not matter how many books you have read, but what kind of car you drive. It does not matter what kind of person you are, what is important is who are your mother and father and their line of work. Education and good manners are subject to ridicule, and virtue is equal to stupidity. Today, it does not matter what kind of person you are, but party you belong to and whether it is in power. Hospitals look like stables and are only reserved for those who don’t have the money to get their treatments at private hospitals.

Corruption and greed are a lifestyle and an object of admiration, while honesty is considered a flaw. Students ridicule their professors, and parents leave the education of their children to the ridiculed. Each time one leaves their home is a huge uncertainty whether they will return, the disappearance of people is becoming a rule, not the exception. The murders are more complicated, and the police are becoming more and more incapable. Judicial trials became political, and the heads of the courts became politicians instead of lawyers. Today, the evening news starts with a frowning anchorwoman who reports a number of victims or a sum of embezzled money from an unknown perpetrator, and the TV guest is a tavern “singer” who is debating the political situation in the country. On all portals, people are spitting and insulting other people on a party, religious, national basis and are always looking for someone to grant them rights or privileges. There is always someone who is deprived of their rights, and no one respects any rule or law. University professors act as street bullies, and priests as party spokesmen.

How much have we really progressed compared to our ancestors, is also shown in the nature surrounding us and our places of residence, our cities and neighborhoods. We are suffocating by the stench of polluted air just as we are suffocating by the stench of the simple-minded. We drown in scattered garbage, just as we drown in egoism and dishonesty. Everything in our country functions in the same way we ourselves function – slowly, tepidly, without will and knowledge, improvised and in our own personal need and interest.

Once, in the not so distant past, phones, the landline ones, were a real rarity, so often a neighbor happened to knock on your door and asked to call a relative or urgently call an ambulance. And they was never denied or greeted with a frown or indignation, no matter what time of the day or night it was. Today neighbors don’t greet each other when they run into one another at the building entrance, yet they turn their heads or stare at the ceiling. Once people helped and respected each other, and today everyone is turning their head before someone else’s misfortune and they don’t even respect themselves, let alone the people around them.
Today most of the people operate selfishly and on the principle ‘You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’ and never do anything for another person without having some personal interest or benefit. That is why the situation in our society is as it is, and people are less and less human and become more and more egoistic, lonely creatures without respect for anything or anyone.